How will I take the final words of your
Night Walk, now that you’re dead, & work them
into my poem?
I had promised it at your birthday, the last or
the next to the last, so hard to tell the years
apart,
so leave myself no choice but to continue, get
it down & try to speak your presence with
the words you give
me.
Once again I think of you as someone wearing many
coats or bundled up against the
night, my own delight
to sit beside you,
to see your nose & eyebrows glowing in that
light, revealing you to us,
revealing secret bodies from your night walks,
meanings written on their foreheads,
two o’clock when happiness arrives to free
our tongues,
when coats are shed & foreheads show what’s
real inside us, feeling, hearing, walking
with delight,
a man at night whose being flows out from his
teeth, who steps on twigs & breaks the
silence,
learning how to draw attention in that halflight,
feigning sweetness.
Clasping your coats around you, hairsmells heavy in the night, dark
clouds & kisses
foremost,
when the evening’s dark & cold, I hold
the clouds in memory, a dimness
black as three o’clock, so touching when
the cold rests on your eyebrows, otherwise
revealing what we all try finding,
clothing darker than the sky, desiring & feeling,
telling your old stories, standing rooted
like a tree.
Desiring what else I couldn’t say but know that when the light
grows dark, as when our
fingers close around
it,
a streamsound breaks the silence, that’s
when wondering makes way for learning,
pointing out the stars at night, wrapped in your
many sweaters, when our beings feel
delight,
you wait there, listening in that dimness, hearing
little, knowing less, of what the night’s
revealing,
bodies black & cold are sliding past you,
clasping you around as you might grasp at
meaning,
bundled in your clothing, looking outward where
the night grows white & quiet.
There’s a halflight that survives you. Now we’re
warming ourselves in it, resting,
hugging, hearing streamsounds,
loving peace as you did, finding that our eyes,
turned to the sky, observe a man there,
hearing what we hear, whose kisses promise sweetness,
being who he is, but turn to ice
before us,
talking through the night while wearing many coats
against its dimness, friends together,
filming trees & raising eyebrows, hearing,
hugging, kissing, melting ice against our
tongues,
out in the night air, trading coats.
A dimness with no resting, seeking warmth from kisses, needing what
a man has always
needed,
touching lips to eyelids, talking to each other
through the night, a memory of three
o’clock,
no longer a delight for eyes & tongues, with
never warmth enough to suit your liking,
bodies poor & old, their pockets long since
emptied, naked beings who still freeze
like naked beings,
some dispensing meanings, others begging for attention,
listening while walking, slipping
backwards in the night,
its grey trees masking feeling.
Will trees still bring delight, the way old stories made our cheeks
turn red or hairsmells
filled our noses?
Will we be clasping something, feeling it slide
past us, eyes & teeth revealing what
the night can’t
hide?
Where will our clothing be at three o’clock,
our pockets empty, trees like fallen friends
around us,
& no telling if there’s starlight, if
the night still brings us wonders, trees that once again
are only trees,
each one of us a fallen being, hairsmells heavy
in the darkness, noses swollen,
clasping what we can & listening, for what?
Another nightwalk, half forgotten,
where the light turns black.
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